ok I’m just going to dump this because I feel like I’m actually drowning and if I try to make it make sense first I won’t even say anything

we “homeschool” but honestly it does NOT feel like it… like every sunday night I’m like ok fresh start new plan this is the week we’re gonna be on top of it and then by tuesday it’s already falling apart and I’m behind again

I have 3 kids (why did I think I could manage all this lol) Ava is 11, Miles is 9, Nora is 6 and they all need completely different things at the same time

Ava is SUPPOSED to be doing math + writing + science but like… she hasn’t touched her math in I think 2 weeks?? maybe more and we “paused” science for a few days and now it’s been like 3 weeks and I don’t even know where we left off. I think it was ecosystems?? there was a project?? I literally cannot find the instructions

and writing… she just refuses. every time I say write a paragraph she’s like “I don’t know what to say” and then we both get frustrated and it doesn’t happen

also she has co-op friday and I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to bring something?? presentation?? I keep meaning to check and then forget again

AND piano… which we have just… not done. for like a week. maybe longer honestly

and she’s supposed to be reading a novel but I don’t even know what chapter she’s on anymore

Miles is a whole situation too… he’s behind in reading and some days he’s fine and other days it’s like instant meltdown and then everything turns into a fight. we’re doing All About Reading level 2 I think?? but we skip around because I don’t even know what’s working anymore

math he’s actually fine with but I never prep anything so it’s just random worksheets or nothing

and we’re supposed to be doing OT exercises DAILY and we basically never do them. same with writing a sentence… it’s like pulling teeth every single time

he has soccer tuesdays + games saturday and we missed last week so I need to email his coach and I keep forgetting that too

Nora… I don’t even know. kindergarten-ish?? letter sounds counting handwriting… she’ll do anything if it’s cute or a craft but the second I try to do actual reading she disappears. like physically vanishes

and she only cooperates if I’m sitting right next to her which is… not possible when I have two other kids

so basically she’s doing random worksheets and watching too much youtube while I’m trying to keep the other two from melting down or fighting

and we are behind on literally EVERYTHING. like I don’t even know what “on track” is anymore?? I feel like we’re just slowly failing everything at once

ALSO life stuff because that never stops:
Miles dentist next thursday at 10:30 (I will forget this again)
grocery pickup tuesday afternoon
my husband is traveling mon-wed so it’s just me which already feels like too much
Nora dance wednesday at 4:15
I have a call wednesday at 1 that I CANNOT miss so idk what the kids are even doing during that
church thing sunday night
and my mom is coming saturday so I have to make the house look like we’re not completely falling apart

and like… laundry dishes meals all of it is mixed in with school and I cannot separate it. it’s just one giant mess in my brain

the biggest problem is I’m doing EVERYTHING. like all the planning all the remembering all the adjusting and it’s too much. I spend more time making plans than actually doing anything and the plans look great and then real life just… destroys them

and then we get behind and I panic and try to fix it and cram everything in and everyone is miserable and then we’re behind again anyway

I don’t even know what the MINIMUM is anymore. like if a day goes completely off what actually has to happen so I don’t feel like I failed?? because right now every day feels like failure

also mornings are a joke. if we start at 9 it’s a miracle. most days it’s like 10:30 before anyone is dressed or fed and then by the time we get going it’s almost lunch and then activities start and the whole day is gone

we need something that assumes interruptions because that is literally every day here

and I need something to just tell me what to do next because I cannot keep deciding every single thing all day long my brain is DONE

anyway sorry this is such a mess I just… needed to get it out before I lose it

I’m just trying to not mess up my kids at this point

ok I need to get this out because I feel like I’m juggling too many things and dropping all of them

so I work full-time from home which already makes everything harder because I’m trying to do my job AND homeschool AND keep the house running at the same time and I don’t think I’ve actually admitted how much that’s not working

I have 2 kids — Ethan (12) and Lily (8)

and on paper we are “organized” like I have curriculum, I have a plan, I even mapped out pacing at the beginning of the year but in real life we are still falling behind and I don’t understand how I’m doing this much work and it’s still not enough

Ethan:
math — Teaching Textbooks (he should be doing this daily but skips days unless I check)
writing — IEW (supposed to be 2 assignments/week, we barely get 1 done)
science — Apologia (we’re behind, I stopped checking how far because it stresses me out)
history — Story of the World (this is basically gone at this point)

he also has baseball practice 3 times a week and games which we are not skipping

Lily:
math — Math Mammoth (this is fine when we actually sit down and do it)
reading — she reads but I’m not consistent with tracking or guiding it
writing — I keep meaning to do something structured but it keeps getting pushed
science/history — I try to combine with Ethan but it rarely actually happens

we do Bible together in the morning which I do want to keep but sometimes it gets rushed or skipped if I have an early meeting

and that’s the thing… my work schedule completely affects everything

like if I have calls in the morning the whole day shifts
if I have a heavy workday we do the bare minimum or nothing
and then I feel behind and try to cram the next day

also I’m constantly switching between “work mode” and “mom mode” and I don’t think my brain is handling that well

the kids don’t really know what they should be doing unless I tell them, so if I’m working nothing really moves forward

I thought Ethan could be more independent but he drags things out unless I’m checking in

Lily needs more direction than I expected so she kind of waits for me too

so basically everything depends on me being available… which I’m not

also life:
groceries
laundry
meals (this is a constant issue because I hit the end of the day exhausted and then still have to figure out dinner)
appointments randomly during the week
church midweek

my husband helps when he’s home but I’m still the one managing all of it mentally

we do have chores but again… I’m the one reminding so it’s not actually helping my load

the biggest problem:
I built a plan that assumes I’m available during the day

and I’m not

so now we’re behind in multiple subjects and I don’t know what to prioritize anymore

like what actually has to happen on a busy workday vs a lighter one??

I also don’t know how to structure the day so that something is still moving even if I’m in meetings

and I don’t want to keep feeling like I’m failing both at work AND at homeschooling

I need:
a realistic daily/weekly load
something that works around my work schedule not against it
clear expectations for what the kids should do without me
and a way to not feel like everything falls apart the second I get busy

because right now that’s exactly what’s happening

ok so I’m trying to write this out in a way that actually makes sense but honestly it might not because that’s kind of the problem

we just started homeschooling this year and I feel like we’re still in that “figuring it out” stage except I don’t know when that’s supposed to end

I have 2 kids — Jackson (7) and Ellie (5) and then also a toddler (2) which I feel like is a big factor because everything revolves around naps and interruptions

my husband is involved which is good, like we’re both committed to this and we talk about it a lot, but I think that’s also part of the issue because it’s not always clear who is doing what and things fall through the cracks

like we’ll both assume the other person handled something… and then it just didn’t happen

or we switch off during the day depending on work and it’s confusing for the kids because expectations aren’t always consistent

so it’s not that I’m doing this alone, but it also doesn’t feel coordinated

school-wise:

Jackson (7):

• math — we have a workbook (2nd grade level I think?) we do it some days but not consistently

• reading — we’re doing phonics but I’m not sure if it’s the right level, he CAN read but resists it

• writing — basically hasn’t started in any real way yet

Ellie (5):

• letters, sounds, counting

• she likes “school” if it feels fun or like a game

• if it feels like actual work she just… opts out

we do read alouds together sometimes and honestly that’s the most consistent thing we do

we TRY to do Bible in the morning but it depends on how the morning is going and who is leading it that day

structure (or lack of it):

we don’t really have a set schedule
we kind of decide in the moment what we’re doing

some days that feels flexible and nice
other days it feels like we’re just drifting and nothing actually gets done

mornings are slow
by the time everyone is up, fed, dressed (sometimes), and the toddler is settled it’s already later than I expected

and then we’re like “okay what should we do first?” and just sit there thinking about it

and then something interrupts and we never really start

or we start something and don’t finish it

weekly things:
library storytime monday
playgroup thursday
church sunday
errands randomly depending on the week

and we’re constantly trying to fit school “around” those instead of having a clear plan

household stuff:

laundry, meals, cleaning — all of that is just mixed in
and since both of us are kind of jumping in and out of the day, it’s not always clear who is responsible for what

same with school — like if I step away, are the kids supposed to keep going? pause? switch to something else? it’s not defined

so a lot of time gets lost in transitions and confusion

the biggest issues:

I don’t know what a normal day should actually look like
I don’t know how much is “enough”
I don’t know what needs to happen vs what is optional

and I feel like we are constantly deciding:
what do we do now
who is doing it
is this the right thing to be doing

and that decision-making alone is exhausting

I think we need:

• a basic structure for the day (not super rigid, but something consistent)

• clarity on who is responsible for what (so we’re not overlapping or missing things)

• something the kids can follow even if we switch off

• a sense of what actually matters each day so we’re not just guessing

I don’t want this to turn into something stressful or overly strict because flexibility is why we chose this

but right now it just feels unstructured in a way that isn’t helping anyone

and I don’t think we’re failing… but I also don’t feel confident that we’re doing this well either

so yeah… that’s where we are

ok I’m just going to put this all down because I think the issue is not that we don’t have things… it’s that I’m the one holding all of it together and I can’t keep doing that

we’ve been homeschooling for years. this is not new. we have curriculum, systems, expectations. the kids are not lost. but everything still runs through me and I’m hitting a wall

we have 5 kids:

Emma — 11th grade (sports)
Caleb — 9th grade (sports)
Noah — 7th grade (sports)
Lily — 5th grade (music)
Hannah — 5th grade (more homebody, not in activities right now)

this is what they are all doing (roughly, because again… I’m the one tracking all of this):

Emma:
math — Pre-Calculus (Teaching Textbooks)
writing — IEW + essays
science — Chemistry (Apologia, labs)
history — Notgrass American History
reading — assigned novels + written responses
sports — volleyball (practice 3x/week + games)

Caleb:
math — Algebra 1
writing — IEW
science — Biology
history — World History (BJU)
reading — novels + summaries/projects
sports — basketball (seasonal but intense schedule)

Noah:
math — Math Mammoth 7th
writing — basic composition (needs oversight)
science — General Science
history — Story of the World + notebooking
reading — assigned reading but inconsistent unless I check
sports — soccer (practice + games)

Lily:
math — 5th grade workbook
writing — copywork + short writing
science — elementary science units
history — follows along loosely with older kids
reading — chapter books
music — piano (lessons weekly + practice that I have to remind her about every time)

Hannah:
math — 5th grade workbook
reading — good reader but doesn’t track anything
writing — minimal right now
science/history — loosely included
no activities — she’s more of a homebody which is fine but she also drifts unless directed

so again… this is not a lack of structure

this is a LOT of structure

and I know exactly where everyone is in all of it

that’s the problem

I am the one who knows:
who is behind
who skipped what
what needs grading
what needs to be done this week
what supplies we need
what labs we haven’t done
what reading hasn’t been turned into anything

plus sports schedules:
who has practice when
who needs to be where
who needs rides
what time we leave

plus piano
plus regular life

and now I’m going back to work part-time from home

which I want to do

but it’s making it very obvious that this whole system only works because I am constantly monitoring it

if I step back even a little things start slipping

assignments get skipped
practice doesn’t happen
younger kids stall out
older kids prioritize what they feel like doing

and I’m tired of being the one saying:
what are you working on
did you finish that
what’s next
what do you have tonight
why is this not done

all day long

my husband is willing to help
but he doesn’t have the full picture in his head like I do

so helping turns into me explaining everything anyway

and the kids could help each other
especially the older ones

but that only happens if I assign it and follow up

so again… still me

what I need is:

everyone knowing what they are responsible for without me repeating it
older kids actually helping younger ones consistently
my husband being able to step in without a full breakdown from me
sports and school and home all living in the same system so I’m not tracking it separately in my head

and I need to be able to step back without everything falling apart

because right now it feels like if I stop holding it, it all drops

and I cannot keep being the central point for everything anymore

I don’t need more curriculum
I don’t need better plans

I need this to run without me being the one actively holding every single piece together all day

ok I was told to just write everything out so this might be all over the place because I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be thinking about yet

we are pulling my son out of school… like very soon… and I feel like I should have a plan already but I don’t

he’s 7 (2nd grade?) his name is Mason

and then I also have a baby (6 months) so that’s part of why this feels overwhelming because everything revolves around the baby’s schedule right now

the reason we’re pulling him out is because school just isn’t working… he’s frustrated, I’m frustrated, homework is a battle every night and I just feel like something has to change

but now I’m like ok… what does that actually mean

like what do I DO all day

I’ve looked at some curriculum stuff but it’s honestly confusing because there are so many options and I don’t know what’s “enough” or what’s too much

I think we need:
math
reading
writing
science?
history?

but I don’t know how much of each or how to structure it

he can read but doesn’t always want to
math he’s ok at but gets frustrated if it feels hard
writing is a struggle

I don’t even know how long we’re supposed to be doing school each day

like is it hours??
is it broken up??
do we do everything every day??

also with the baby:
naps are unpredictable
some days are fine and some days are chaos

so I don’t see how I’m supposed to have a strict schedule but I also feel like we need SOME kind of structure or nothing will happen

I also don’t know:
what a “good day” looks like
how to know if we’re behind
if I need to track things
what actually matters vs what people just say you should do

and then there’s just life:
meals
laundry
keeping the house somewhat functional

and now adding school on top of that feels like a lot

my husband is supportive but he works during the day so most of this is on me, although he said he can help in the evenings or weekends I just don’t know what that would look like

I also feel like I’m constantly googling things and getting more confused

like I just want someone to tell me:
start here
do this
this is enough for today

because right now it just feels like a big question mark

I don’t want to mess this up right at the beginning

and I don’t want it to turn into something stressful for him or for me

but I also don’t want to just… do nothing and hope it works

so yeah I feel very much like I don’t know what I’m doing and I need help figuring out what this is supposed to look like day to day